Screwed.edu
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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