it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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