You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
