oh god the rape fog is back!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
