hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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