Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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