Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
