Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
where are my eyebrows?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
