Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
