Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
