I'm jealous of your bromance
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
