Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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