you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize