Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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