If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this beer tastes like vomit already
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
