Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
