That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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