Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
