i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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