About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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