She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
