Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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