At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
