uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
