I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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