I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
