there's paper in my vomit.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
