WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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