There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
