who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
