Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
don't judge my taste in strippers
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
