she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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