hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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