first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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