Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
