i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
