They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
