His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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