Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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