it wasn't lemon gatorade
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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