Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize