New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
