4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize