apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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