I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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