every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
