Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bring me that man meat
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
