we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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