I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
