I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
