He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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