are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
