I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it because I queefed?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
