Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
