Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The maid of honor just puked.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
