What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
