Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize