I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
