As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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