To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize