No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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