thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
