After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
