god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
